journal   >   20230528-i-drove-you-away  

I drove you away

published 2023-05-28

You were never daddy’s little girl
I loved you but did not know you well
I cared for you but did not take care of you
I hated myself when I raged
You were kinder than I knew
And more thoughtful

Once when you were in college you said
you would welcome a letter from me
But I never wrote it
What if I wrote it now?
You have been gone a long time

There was the time you drove an hour
to come home for some things and
I told you not to come
I was not rejecting you
Your mother’s heart was breaking for you
She couldn’t bear for you to come through with no greeting

I’m glad you and she talk now sometimes
I’m glad you called on her birthday
Don’t forget Mother’s Day
I don’t mind that I don’t get the same
Because I’m the one who drove you away

When you’re sure of yourself at last
I hope you will sit with me before I’m gone
Even though I drove you away